I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
