Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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