He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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