If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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