You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
