She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
