i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
