hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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