Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
