You just made me feel so damn special
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
