So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
