i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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