Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
