I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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