The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
