he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
