oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
