Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
