I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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