I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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