Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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