I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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