I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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