you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
