is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
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Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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