But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
