Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
