I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
