yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
