He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
