Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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