at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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