i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There are leaves in my underwear?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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