drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't turn off my feet"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize