Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
