I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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