Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
