im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
