FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
