he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
