I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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