Having a random hookup so left but love u
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
