did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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