dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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