found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
