Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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