I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
