I think im going to throw up on grandma
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I will be naked everywhere
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
NoShamevember. You game?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
