Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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