if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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