After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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