My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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