so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
