white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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