I must be too annoying 4 u.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
What a dumb baby whore.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
