I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
