my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
