We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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