Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
