i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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