The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
