Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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