I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
