As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize